It's been a while, dearest Blog, and all zero of your loyal readers are probably wasting away in misery due to a lack of meaningless posts. So I decided to write a post. I don't know what it's going to be about. Yeah, I'm the worst blogger ever...whatever. Watch this video.
A while ago (around Halloween) I told my homegirl D-Town that I'd write a blog about her. Then I wrote a blog about my family being hilarious instead. Oops. So this will be her moment of fame in Blogdom. Danielle, this one's for you!
One day long ago, back when the world was new and I was a brand new Freshman at Arapahoe High School, I was sitting in in Mr. Rotschaffer's Geometry class, admiring the incredibly handsome Gator (who happened to be a human, contrary to what the name implies) who sat across from me. As I watched his incredible looking face and pretended I knew how to talk to boys, I couldn't help but notice something amazing happening behind his head. There was a short Jew...ish girl holding something incredible. A strange light was emanating from it. Choirs of angels were singing about it. The camera slowly zoomed in on it until it's glory filled the frame. Or something like that. It was round. It was telescopic. It held 150 crayola crayons.
It was the most beautiful thing in that room... aside from Gator's face/body. I knew had to be friends with the Jew who was lucky enough to hold that many crayons in such an incredible container. And Boom. We were friends. Now, six-ish years, 2 journalism camps, one (or two?) years on the newspaper staff, dozens of mormon dances and zero arguments later, we're still friends. In fact, we're even better friends than we were when I first saw her across the dimly lit Geometry classroom and she was a complete stranger. I'd go so far as to say we're acquaintances.
Probably my junior year is when I started bringing Danielle to hang out with my closest group of friends, who I called The Ranch Kids. And she fit right in as the token Jew in the group. Thank goodness, because the Jew we had before her was a jerk. Seriously. We've done lots of great things together. Here's a preview.
But anyway, she's short, she's awesome, she likes to beat me up. She took me to an amazing concert for my 19th Birthday.
She came to Lake Powell with me. Her laugh is infectious, she's never-endingly positive, always supportive of not only me but my whole family, and I'm basically super blessed to have her as my closest friend. And this is the nearest thing she'll get to a love letter from me. But don't worry, Blogland, our love is purely heterosexual... mostly. Okay, entirely...... Now that I have you all wondering about my closet, let's watch a GIF of her beating me up.
The end. The Blog about you as promised, Danielle. Oh, I should also mention that she was a skanky minnie mouse for Halloween. But she was wearing gloves, so at least her hands were modest.
